How Pole Dancing Changed My Life: The Friends, The Business, and Everything In Between

I started pole with my cousin.

That's the whole origin story. No grand plan, no fitness goal. Just two people who thought it sounded like fun and decided to give it a go.

I had no idea what that one decision would set in motion.

The Yes That Changed Everything

About a year into pole, a friend of mine was opening up a pole space and needed someone to teach. She asked me.

My immediate answer was no. Absolutely not. I wasn't confident enough. I couldn't stand up in front of people and teach. The idea of it made me want to disappear.

I said yes anyway.

I was nervous for everything — the warm up, the class itself, the spotting. I went to Sydney multiple times to train with different pole dancers and instructors. I put in the work. But walking into that first class? It was a whole different kind of scary.

What I didn't know then was that saying yes to that one thing would quietly reshape everything that came after.

Learning to Use My Voice

Before teaching pole, I was working at Adidas. I'd been trying to get better at public speaking and it was a genuine struggle. I would go red like a tomato. My voice would disappear. I cared so much about what people thought that I could barely get the words out.

Teaching pole fixed that — not overnight, but steadily.

When you're talking about something you love, something you actually know inside and out, the fear starts to shrink. You stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about the person in front of you. Are they getting the move? Do they feel safe? Are they having fun?

Somewhere in the middle of all of that, I stopped going red. I found my voice. And I've had it ever since.

The Business I Never Planned to Run

Teaching led to more. I became the manager of the pole studio — and with that came a whole education I never expected.

Managing a team means managing people, and people are complicated. Different personalities, different needs, different reasons why things don't always go to plan. I learned how to problem-solve on the fly, how to handle conflict, how to keep things running when everything wants to go sideways. I learned social media, operations, the back end of running a business.

The studio owner taught me so much about what it actually takes to build something. And without that knowledge, RARR Designs wouldn't exist.

I'd always been in design — it was my full time career. But when I looked around at what was available for pole wear, there was almost nothing. So I started. On my sewing machine, at home, figuring it out as I went. That small start became the brand it is today.

Pole didn't just change my body or my social life. It gave me a business.

The Hype Girl Years

The part I think about most, though, is the people.

I was never the most technically gifted pole dancer in the room. But I was good at something else — being the person who made you feel like you could do it. Walking into a class when someone was feeling low and lifting them up. Noticing when something was off. Being the kind of teacher you could actually talk to.

Students would say things to me that I still carry. "I was going through a divorce, and I found pole, and then I found you." "If I hadn't started pole, this never would have happened."

You'd do a bit of counselling, a bit of pole, a bit of whatever that person needed that day. And you'd watch them leave an hour later completely different to how they walked in.

I miss those days. Family life means I can't teach anymore — the kids, the afternoons, the pace of everything. But the impact of that time hasn't gone anywhere.

Giving People a Stage

One of the things I'm most proud of from my teaching years is the showcase we created.

We built a space where students could perform — a proper production, in a proper theatre. And watching people who'd never performed in their lives walk out on that stage and own it? That's the kind of confidence that doesn't go away. What I learned about running a pole show — the logistics, the production, the theatre side of it — became the foundation for something bigger.

TROUPE

My best friend — someone I met through pole — and I created a competition together. It's called TROUPE.

The whole concept is built around what we both believe makes pole special: the community. TROUPE is about the people you meet through pole coming together to create group routines. It's not about who's the best. It's about what you build with the people beside you.

Last year we nearly sold out an entire theatre. I'm hoping we do it again.

I would never have imagined running a competition when I first walked into a pole class with my cousin. And now here we are.

It's Become Life

There's a student I met when she was nineteen. She's thirty-three now. We've been friends this whole time — through everything. I recently met her new baby.

That's not a fitness story. That's a life story.

Pole gave me confidence I didn't have. It gave me business skills I didn't know I'd need. It gave me RARR Designs. It gave me TROUPE. It gave me friendships that have lasted over a decade and will last the rest of my life.

It made my body fitter and stronger. It made me better at speaking, at leading, at showing up for people. It cracked open parts of me that I didn't know were closed.

I started with my cousin on a whim. And it became life.

I wouldn't change a single thing.

If pole has changed your life in ways you didn't expect, we'd love to hear your story. Tag us on Instagram @rarrdesigns or drop it in the comments below. 🖤